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Charr'd
Summary: The juiced-up Junkions gain the Decepticon's ire by attacking Charr itself! Entrance Gates - DHQ Massive steel doors bar the way into remote Charr's Decepticon Headquarters. There is little traffic coming and going through these main gates; not only because of the small size of the garrison but because most Decepticons prefer to use the aerial entry instead. Still, the automated defenses scan continously for any intruders, and those without authorization to be there will be met with a very warm welcome. Grim-Repair says, "My fellow....Junkions. Today, Charr is to be....dissected. Join me!" Monstereo drones monotonously, "Kiss the cook, put another shrimp on the barbee." Grim-Repair says, "I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world.." Telestar says, "Fellow Autobots, I am monitoring the Junkion broadband, and they are ridiculous. That is all." Kup says, "Are they... ridiculously EVIL?" Telestar says, "That, Commander Kup, depends on your opinion of the terran musical group, "Aqua."" Grim-Repair says, "Junkions! Prepare for the slaughter!" Monstereo says, "I want my MTV... I also want their MTV." Your Regularly Scheduled Junkion is interrupted by a shaky hand-cam feed showing Grim-Repair at the window of Junkion spaceship. He is pointing at Charr through the window. "All your base are belong to us!" The camera feed shuts off abruptly. That was special. Breakdown peeks out from behind the large doors of the Decepticon's Charr headquarters THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! A quiet day on Charr is masked by the arrival of what looks to be literally an /armada/ of flying Garbage Pods, each one piloted by an array of Junkions, each one with large, garbage-crushing teeth on the front, gnashing in the vacuum of space as they descend. Taking the lead once more is the Junkion field commander Banquo, who looks down upon Charr and booms "Junkions! Today's ingredient is... CHARR! Lets carve the turkey! And ropes are flung from each ship as hundreds upon hundreds of raving Junkions descend (including Leet, yay) Apparently there is already one Junkion on Charr, as out of the main door wheels a mechanical bull, as in one people ride in bars cause they fancy themselves as cowboys but don't want the real thing. Rodeo wheels along at an impressive pace, having retrieved a number of Spacebridge components. Grim-Repair looks over to Monstereo from within the confines of the /JSS Petunia/, then down to the rope, then back over to Monstereo. "You first." Monstereo stares at Grim-Repair blankly for a moment. "Yezbozz." He sighs, flips out of his pod and descends his rope playing a soundbite from Family Guy, "Here comes Peter on a clothesline but his name is not Peter, it is Spiderman!" Galvatron is close behind Rodeo with Soundwave and several other Decepticons, by all appearances out for blood. "You miserable thief! You will pay for your audacity!" he shouts, firing his cannon at Rodeo as he makes his escape. Scrapper is flying with Lord Galvatron. His laser pistol is already out. "Oh no, this is bad," he tells the viewer at ho- er, he tells Galvatron and the other Decepticons, "Charr is one of our major sources of energon, plus it holds the secrets to our spacebridge technology. If the Junkions, who are currently experiencing some sort of madness that is making them violent, gets their hands on either the technology or our energon, the Decepticon Empire, and the galaxy at large, is doomed!" Soundwave is, along with Galvatron, chasing after Rodeo, firing his concussion rifle now and then but not scoring any hits on the swift Junkion. But he immediately detects the Junkion invasion force rappelling down as he stops to stare up at them, descending on their zip lines. "Alert! Alert! Junkion reinforcements inbound!" His missile launcher unleashes swarms of miniature rockets, knocking a few Junkions off of their lines and sending them crashing down to the ground, where they shatter apart. Unfortunately, it's only a matter of time before they or their comrades pull themselves together! One of the Junkions sliding down the rope resembles nothing short of a walking Swiss Army Knife (complete with corkscrew and nail file) crossed with an Evangelion Unit, his robot mode resembling the Terminator. One too many animes have fueled Wea-Pon's infatuation with mechas, cyborgs and dedicated destroyers, building himself up until he himself became the Junkion Living Weapon "Sarah Connor, I have come for you!" he booms, descending onward. Breakdown is following Lord Galvatron's lead, thou partly out of fear as well as anger. What paranoid Stunticon wouldn't be afraid of a Junkion riding a giant mechanical bull. He then hears Scrappers's comments and responds "Forget the galaxy, what about me!" as he continues shooting at the escaping rodeo. As he sites the mounting waves and hears Soundwave's warning, his fuel pump skips a beat. "The galaxy at large is hardly my concern right now, Scrapper!" replies Galvatron, making sure to use Scrapper's name in case the... other Decepticons have forgotten which one he is. "I want that Junkion annihilated for his offenses against me personally!" He chases Rodeo out of the base and spots the other Junkions descending from the sky and swarming over the landscape. "MORE of them?! Decepticons... DEFEND!" Rodeo continues wheeling himself towards the Junkions. However Galvatrons cannon scores a glancing hit, making the mechanical bull, or bucking bronco as it were, start to sping, and the inflatable safety matt deplotys, inflating out. A Junkion rushes to do the only sensible thing, and tries riding the mechnical bull as it wheels along, Yes, it is a rare moment. "What /about/ you?" Scrapper snorts at Breakdown, letting the Stunticon know just how much he cares. But Galvatron's comments are of course considered gospel. "By your command, mighty Galvatron! Engaging Junkion extermination mode." Scrapper points his laser pistol at one of the garbage pods and tries to blast it out of the sky. "Junkion extermination mode engaged." As the Junkions land on the surface of Charr, Leet glares at Rodeo. "Show off, you're only level 2!" he mouths, before he raises his fists to start shooting blasts off at random Decepticons, Gobot style. Above him, the garbage pods start to literally /bite/ into the walls and defenses of Charr, weathering heavy fire as they devour the material itself, with a horrific crunching noise. And the smell. The smell of garbage! From his ship, Banquo spies Galvatron. "Galvatron, there are too many chefs in this kitchen!" he shouts, leaping out of his craft to tackle the Decepticon leader, flanked by his colleagues Microslave who is already shooting microwave energy from his chest, and Retcon, who is constantly walking backwards and denying that anything has ever happened Galvatron levels an imperious finger at Soundwave. "Soundwave, close the gates and activate the defensive perimeter! The rest of you- to the battlements!" All both of them. He leaps up onto the wall and begins firing down at the Junkions as they approach. Galvatron meets Banquo's charge with his fist. "Banquo, you and your kind would be better off imprisoned in the asylum of the Torqulons! Perhaps I will spare some of you, to send there for my own amusement!" Editor's Note: Since the MUSH's canon does not encompass the part of the series where Galvatron has gone insane, been imprisoned in Torqulon himself by a worried Cyclonus, and eventually destroyed the planet himself (see issues 12-32, Marvel fans), it therefore still exists to send crazy Junkions to. Grim-Repair slides gleefully down the rope, after seeing Monstereo go before him. At least he'll have a squishy landing if he falls. Once on the ground, he immediately starts setting up triage for a battlefield medical station...which, in this case, means running around frantically grabbing assorted parts that can be turned into appendages, and, when necessary, grabbing discarded appendages that can be used for parts. Monstereo swings and rapid-drops to evade one of Soundwave's mini-rockets and drops to the unfarmable ground of Charr. He drones to Grim-Repair, "Don't forget to wipe your feet, Fred." He glances around as he crouches low. He then cues a MST3K:TM soundbite: "What kinda ~radioedit~ planet is this?" "Evangelion Unit 01's sync ratio at 81 percent!" Wea-Pon announces, "Commence activation. Eva launched!" he notices Breakdown and fans his assorted weaponry including fork and spoon, you will be eaten alive! "An Angel!" Breakdown dives behind one of the battlements at Galvatron's command and starts shooting like everyone was dipped in electrum. "Oh, not good not good not good!!" he repeats to himself as the horrible, fearsome Junkions mount their assault on Charr. Rodeo transformers back to his robot mode, running towards Banquos ship with the parts from the Spacebridge he just stole. He leaves the Junkion that just tried to ride him lying behind saying, "Oh my, anyone catch the number of that taxi cart?" Soundwave finishes with his missile salvo, and turns to bow his head towards Galvatron. "As you command." Facing towards the fortress, his optic band flickers on and off rapidly, and the Fortress doors groan loudly as they slide shut. One enterprising Junkion tries to leap for the open gap but he doesn't quite make it, and instead finds himself wedged between the two halves of the door. "Is the end for--YEAAARGH!" the nameless Junkion cries as he is slowly crushed flat. And all over the fortress, point defense and artillery emplacements suddenly come to life, swiveling about and spraying energy beams and high-explosive shells in every direction, usually at the Junkions. The weapons notably do not fire at any target that's too close to Scrapper, Galvatron, or Soundwave, however. "Junkions! It is now time to dance!" cries the gleaming white form of Dance-Commander. "LISTEN CAREFULLY. I AM NOW GIVING OUT THE ORDERS FOR FUN." Suiting action to words, he begins to dance in a horrible and jerky manner... right between the incoming fire. Either he is very good at dodging lasers, or he is very lucky. With a look of grim determination in his very serious optics, Dance-Commander pauses in his dance to point at Galvatron dramatically and say, "Hey! I'm the only one who gives the orders here! Alright! Who gives the orders here!" That said, he continues he bizarre movements. Banquo is punched back by Galvatron, but he is a very tough and portly Junkion, and he absorbs the punch, before taking out a cleaver, and leaping at the Decepticon leader, Microslave flanking round the side of the Decepticon leader, shooting him from behind. There is a huge THOOOOM as one of the Junkion ships transforms into the gigantic form of Doctor Bong, whose optics stare down at the tiny form of Breakdown beneath him, and he raises his laser-thermometer. "Time to raise the temperature!" he emits, as beams streak out from it. Leet meanwhile has taken out a hacksaw and is busy cutting off parts of the base wall, as the ships eat away at it above him. "Best. Invasion. Ever!" he utters Scrapper touches down on the battlements protecting the Charr HQ next to Soundwave, thus making sure the fortress's artillery doesn't have to worry about him. The Constructicon uses the wall's natural cover spots to snipe at the approaching Junkions. It's like in The Two Towers during the Battle of Helms Deep. Scrapper is goddamn Legolas as he blasts Junkions left and right. "Hey, Soundwave." He points towards the transformed Doctor Bong. "That's one of their top cronies. He needs to die. He needs to die real bad." As if on some sort of cue, a squad of small, rabbit-like Junkions rappels down, sporting plunger guns. "WWWAAAAAAHHHHHH!" they scream in unison. Galvatron blocks the cleaver with his left forearm, which is gashed but far too tough to be disabled. As if to demonstrate such, he backhands Banquo with the back of his left hand and kicks him off the wall to give himself a moment for a clear shot. "Get out of my way, you bloated buffoon!" snarls Galvatron. "I have a BIGGER fish to fry!" Galvatron transforms into his artillery mode, to bring his heavy weapons to bear. Dead End turns suddenly toward the plunger bearing Junkions, air pistol at the ready, as he aims toward each in turn before rapidly knocking them spinning backward into the air with high powered shots of compressed air as plungers splatter all around him. Breakdown looks up as the ship transforms into a massive Junkion and terror fills his face. Breakdown says, "HOLY MOTORMASTER!" And with that the white and blue Stunticon is hightailing it away towards Soundwave & Scrapper, trying to avoid the laser blots that sheer his aft." As Banquo is knocked away, he barks out an order as he rolls across the floor. "Mirrormirror!" he shouts, seeing Galvatron's transformation. "Defense mode!" And a Junkion dressed like a wizard leaps to the air, transforming into a gigantic mirror, that floats in front of Galvatron's cannon barrel! Wea-Pon cries out as Breakdown fires! "I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away!" He barrels forward! He /must/ get to the base and start carving pieces from it, he /must/ destroy the Angel! Fusion Artillery's cannon elevates to dial in Banquo's starship, the one to which Rodeo is even now fleeing with the spacebridge parts. He adjusts his traverse just a bit and fires! vzzzzzzzzz-CHOOOM goes the beam of energy. For a moment it seems as if Mirrormirror has saved the day! The blaze of light splashes out in all directions, spraying away from the mirror in a blinding disk of energy. "I did it! I did it! Atticus will be so proud of me!" exclaims Mirrormirror just before the surface of the mirror melts and he shatters into millions of pieces. The beam, unhindered, lances across the blackened landscape of Charr, punches through the Junkion ship and carves it into two roughly equal halves, the top half sloughing down and melting into the bottom for a moment before it explodes in a FIREBALL that sends shrapnel scattering from one horizon to the other. Soundwave makes for a poor Gimli as he punches an Orc-like Junkion, complete with white handprints for warpaint, right in the face. "Understood, Scrapper. I would utilize Rumble and Frenzy to unbalance him, but, unfortunately, they are not here. I am not sure what they are doing right now. Probably playing video games again." Damn them. Despite agreeing with Scrapper, Soundwave instead fires upon Wea-Pon, because after lifting ideas from so many animes in order to make Decepticonz, well, those angsty, emo archetypes get REALLY FREAKING ANNOYING! Leet looks on sadly as Mirrormirror gets melted to death. "He lived a warrior ans died to an hero!" he says sadly. "Oh no, wait, he was a horrible jerk. But still, get him!" He turns and starts to fire his fist lasers at Galvatron, more Junkions rapelling down to attack the cannon. Doctor Bong himself turns, optics blazing. "DOCTOR BONG BLUTCH MODE ACTIVATED!" he roars, a stun syringe in his gigantic fist, which shoots white beams at the Decepticon leader Dance-Commander pauses in his endless dance, jaw dropping (literally, like off his face and to the ground) as the ship is cleaved in twain. "OH O! E IP I O-EN N AIN! HI I HOIBU!" Monstereo winces at Mirrormirror. He drones, "Bad luck, old chap." He creeps in keeping his head down to start gathering up the pieces. He cues a Foghorn Leghorn soundbite: "Luckily I keep my feathers numbered... in case' such an emergency." Dead End spins about as he detects Breakdown making a run for it which takes his attention away from the exploding Junkion ship. Instinct takes over as the shrapnel starts to rain around him, transforming into his better shielded vehicle mode, as he guns his engine and drives forward across the rough uneven surface. Curiously his speed seems to be faster then the high velocity pieces of shrapnel, so much so that even those that collide with him harmlessly shatter into smaller pieces. Grim-Repair has his hands full...of hands. His makeshift M*A*S*H is overrun with the injured and lazy. At this moment, he's busy attaching a head to a body, with all the bedside manner of a gangrape. On the table, the head of Three-Sixty is complaining. "But..that ain't my body! That's Play-Station's body! N00B!" Grim-Repair is nonplussed. "Deal with it, soldier...now get back in the game." With a shrug, the composite Three-Sixty/Play-Station monstrosity starts running towards the fight, with a mighty battle cry of "WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" "Yeah and if I had the Constructicons we'd just step on everyone." Scrapper replies. He then pauses in his shooting and looks up at the tape deck. "Do you ever notice that we`ve been really terrible at keeping track of our comrades ever since 2005?" While Scrapper contemplates this, he is perhaps vulnerable to Junkion assault. How vunerable is Scrapper? For an array of multicoloured construction Junkions pull up, transforming into robot mode. Knock-Off, the leader, raises his blaster. "Constructirobots, merge to form Devastatorobot!" The Junkions leap into the air, merging poorly into a horrific orange, green, blue, yellow, purple and pink mirror image of Devastator. "Devastatorobot crush!" it roars! The Junkion Living Swiss Army Knife Eva Unit Terminator oofs as his spoon and grenade impliments are shot off along with an arm. He emits a truly annoying Shinji Ikari shriek of pain lasting at least ten seconds, followed by, "Rei! Ayanami! Noooooooo!" The Junkion Unit reaches down and retrieves his arm, replacing it. He looks at Soundwave, "Freakazoid!" before placing his target in the center and pulling the switch. Breakdown spots his Stunticon brother out of the corner of his optic just before diving behind Soundwave and Scrapper. He then peeks his head up. "Heh guys, don't we have anything a bit more effectivelike a nuclear bomb or something?" Fusion Artillery is assailed by the Junkion counterattack, disappearing briefly from view in a cloud of smoke. "Even your power COMBINED has no chance against me!" comes his voice from within the cloud as he emerges in his robot form, raking a beam of energy across the onrushing Junkions who are pelting him with lasers, photon blasts (very similar to lasers in most regards) and photonic pulsars (lasers). Having already used his most devastating output level to annihilate the Junkion starship, he can't simply melt down Doctor Bong, so the big guy gets a break in that regard. "Decepticons!" calls Galvatron to the others. "With Venom's intelligence footage Shockwave and I have calculated a new defensive formation to defeat Doctor Bong! We must form a circle, each blast him twice, and then the Decepticon to your left will blast him twice while you recharge! Prepare for... OPERATION BONGHITS: COMMENCE to SPARK the JUNKION!" Slash, the turtle Junkion grumbles heavily and appears to be intoxicated beyond normal levels. He curses heavily and has a cigarette in one hand and Juice in the other. He has a slight stagger as he walks and mutters something about kicking some Cons around. Dead End comes to a sudden halt beside Breakdown and the two S-Cons before transforming and turning to face them. He turns to briefly regard Breakdown from where he cowers behind Soundwave and Scrapper with his usual expressionless face before turning to look at the other two. "The persistance of these Junkions is aggravating. It'd be nice if they could simply be destroyed outright but, of course, that will never happen." Galvatron gets into the circular defensive formation, raises his right arm and blasts Doctor Bong in a mighty double-tap! Soundwave honestly never thought about the problem Scrapper described, but come to think of it, it has been a LOT harder to get combiner teams to stick together and his tapes inside his chest ever since then. He'll look into it later. Maybe. "We have no nuclear weapons, Breakdown, due to anti-nuclear arms treaties, which fortunately do not exclude various other weapons of mass destruction, such as magnetic balls that gradually increase their mass as they roll across a target city. Unfortunately for Soundwave, he is blasted by Wea-Pon's SUPER ULTIMATE LIFE FORCE BUSTER CANNON and is flung across the battle field, unable to join in Galvatron's formation for the moment! (Or whatever the guy calls that attack.) Scrapper is pretty vulnerable. While Scrapper is distracted talking with Soundwave, several Junkion construction workers approach the wall. The words of their leader immediately grabs Scrapper's attention. "Oh you have got to be kidding me..." he says. The Junkions merge into this Devastatorobot, and Scrapper just stares. "Oh come on!" he immediately begins complaining. This ugly combiner is tall enough to smack people on the wall. "/Come on/!" Scrapper complains again. Doctor Bong staggers back, smoking as Galvatron and his circle of gumbies shoot him. "Power low!" he emits. "Escape prescribed!" The huge Junkion slowly transforms, lifting into the air, shuddering into the sky of Charr, as below him the Junkion Garbage Pods continue to eat away at Charr, each piloted by cackling Junkions. But before Doctor Bong leaves, he throws out a surprise... and a small Junkion called Night Nurse detaches, transforming into a pill pot, that hits the ground with a THOOM, before turning into a very heavily armoured robot, shooting out pills Dead End turns to look at Scrapper with an almost glacical edge to his eyeband. "Is there anything even remotely amusing on this lump of rock, Scrapper, paritcularly in this case?" Devestatorobot starts to use his fist to slap Decepticons off the battlements of Charr, laughing heartily. But then he moves a leg and there is a snap, as some of his cheap neon joints strain and break. "Oh for the love of... I told you to get that fixed Test-Shot!" comes a mutter from shoulder. Devestatorobot booms out "AirFix, we need you!" as a Junkion covered in glue runs towards the gestalt. Can anyone stop him? Breakdown looks at Dead End in disbelief. "We have to do something!?!?! We're gonna get recycled..by Junkions at that!" He then looks over at scrapper and the gears in his head start clicking. "Perfect!" And with that he moves behind the Constructicon, attempting to lift him up and fling him at the Junkion Gestalt. "AHAHAHA, take this you big bastard!" Scrapper looks back at Dead End. "I have to say I'm not finding this very funny, no. Now come on, lets see if we can't give this giant embarassment to colour coordination a taste of what normal Decepticon Combiner limbs can do!" Scrapper takes aim at Devastatorobot - specifically, he aims for the leg joints. A lot of Gestalts have trouble with the joints, and so Scrapper's laser blasts are aimed there. But before they have a chance to do damage, a limb already breaks off. He knew it would be a brilliant strategy. Before he can lay waste to this AirFix fellow, Scrapper is suddenly lifted up. "Hey, what th-??? Ahhhhhhh!" Scrapper flies at Devastatorobot. This is not intentional. /Thanks/, Breakdown. Galvatron is slammed off of the wall by Devastatorobot, but at least Operation Bonghits went as calculated. He'll have to tell Shockwave about that later. Mmm, that's good Operation. "Hold your ground, Decepticons! Give them not a single inch!" Wea-Pon, the Terminator Swiss Army Living Knife Evangelion Unit shouts, "GUYVERRRRR!" before transforming! He aims his BIGASS RIFLES to where the defensive circle is surrounding Banquo and open fires on as many as he can scattered by Devastatorobot! Grim-Repair is busy working on... and empty med-table. At least, that's what it looks like. "Hold still, #-1 OBJECT NOT FOUND, I'm not done with my experiment yet...." He works frantically for another few minutes, before floating back from the table. "It's alive!!!" #-1 OBJECT NOT FOUND, newly refurbished, stands, and runs headlong back into the #-1 FUNCTION (BATTLE) EXPECTS 2 ARGUMENTS BUT GOT 1. Dead End shrugs in answer to Breakdown's wigging out before he turns to look back at Scrapper eyeband to eyeband. He shrugs again, raising his weapon, as he turns to aim his own weapon in the Devastatorbot before looking back at his Stunticon brother just as Scrapper is picked up and hurled into the air. Dead End follows his path through the air before saying "Well, there is always the direct approach" in a dry tone. Airfix races up to repair Devestatorobot, but before he can do so, he stops as he watches Breakdown throw Scrapper at him. "That's not snap-together!" he yells, taking out his glue-gun and shooting at Breakdown, as the impact of Scrapper causes the giant Junkion gestalt to seperate, the components transforming to robot mode and surrounding Scrapper. "Sooo!" Knock-Off emits, cracking his knuckles (causing stress-lines to appear). "You think you can be a Constructirobot, do you?" Soundwave, as he involuntarily flies towards the Charr base, is reminded by his earlier conversation of an unfinished super-weapon prototype he had been working on. And so, he sends a remote command to the fortress to open the front doors just a wee bit, then steers himself just so with anti-gravs, transforms into his tiny tape-deck mode, and slips through the crack. The door squeeks shut immediately afterwards. Scrapper smashes into Devastatorobot. The giant robot falls to pieces, littering the ground. Scrapper's own landing is none too rough, and he goes down cursing Breakdown's name the whole way. "This is why I hate Stunticons..." the Constructicon wheezes, picking himself up off the ground while holding his head in pain. His optical visor flashes as he notices he's surrounded by the incredibly lame Constructirobots (or whatever). "Ah," Scrapper replies. "No, I can honestly say I do not think I can be a Constructirobot." He's stalling for time. Stalling for someone to save him. Someone like the people who got him into this mess in the first place. Breakdown has clearly gone mad, but is soon covered in glue by airfix's gun and restrained. "MMFFFhmhmh!!" Galvatron wades into the mass of the Junkions to keep them from focussing their fire on him, or more accurately to let him use them as shields against their own incoming fire. His shock mace and lightsaber make for quite the light show as he lays about himself with every lower-power-consumption weapon at his disposal. "I used to love her but I had to kill her. I used to love her but i had to kill her. I had to put her six feet under and i can still hear her complain..." sang Slash, the Junkion, with his oversized black top hat that covered a mess of wires that might pass as hair. His primary weapon, a guitar, is slung on his back. He notices that Breakdown and pulls out his favorite gun, THE VELVET REVOLVER, and takes aim at Breakdown. "You'll be knock-knock-knocking on Heaven's door when I am finished with you." Hopefully, something hits. He takes a swig of Juice while firing away relentlessly. Dead End jumps back as he picks up the wad of glue heading for them, which causes it to stick to Breakdown instead of him, before he turns to face Airfix and starts to run at him. Midway he transforms into his vehicle mode before blazing at an amazingly fast speed toward the Junkion as he appears to turn into a car shaped maroon blur. "It slices, it dices, with 29 impliments! Yours for only three easy payments of $19.95. Sorry, no COD," Wea-Pon starts throwing a volley of knives and kitchen utensils in Scrapper's direction, "Act now, and recieve your FREE GIFT," he hefts his oversized rifle over one shoulder and nearly tipping him over and boooooooms! Following from the midst of the lines, something junky this way comes. The energy axe raised up as he charges forth, the sight of Wreck-Gar hopefully bolstering the ranks in their attempts for this .. Juice! "One two three four! We won't take such deal's no more! Forwards ladies and Gentlemen, to the front desk! This is a matter of life and juice! The timer is ticking, and soon... it will be time for the Lightning round! BONUS POINTS!" He cries, striding forth, heading towards Galvatron and his strength, as well weapons! "Special offer, blue light special... and our winner is GALVATRON!.. Buy five.. GET ONE FREE! No returns allowed!" He bellows, making his presence known to Galvatron.. and the rest of the Junkions. Airfix transforms into a grey unpainted plane as Dead End drives at him, dropping bombs along the ground at the car in an attempt to offroad him. "I'll soon get you stuck!" he chides. Knock Off smiles at Scrapper, and points to his little companion, who turns into a tiny plane that hangs about with the Constructirobots for no discernable reason. "Plane-Guy, get him!" Plane-Guy, the most unoriginal pack-in toy ever, lunges towards Scrapper. But he is only a few inches high. Grim-Repair, still busy repairing people, looks up at Wreck-Gar's appearance, and beams with glee. Of course, no one can tell. "But I think that maybe, sometime in the future, it may be possible for me to somehow become one of the sorts of robots that some, such as you, refer to as Constructirobots, which is something that I..." Scrapper keeps trying to stall for time, waiting for Breakdown... Dead End... Soundwave... SOMEONE to save him. But Breakdown is glued, Galvatron is busy killing the hell out of people, and Dead End is rescuing his brother. Knives dig into Scrapper's back, and he falls forward onto his hands and knees just as Plane-Guy leaps for him. Plane-Guy may only be inches tall, but this is tall enough to whack at Scrapper's hands while he's on the ground. "Ow!" Breakdown wiggles, trying to miss Slash's shots, which only seem to hit the glue and thus free him slowly. "Ohh, I'm gonna get ya!" He screams, swinging his head side to side and then running over the battlement into the mess of junkion's below. He lands with a crunch on battlefield littered with carcasses, and picks up an axe and proceed's to run towards the nearest Junkion screaming "HEEEERREE'S BREAKDOWN!" Plane-Guy starts to kick Scrapper in the face, as the Constructirobots stand around in a circle, jeering. "Yeah!" Replica shouts, punching the air. "You get him little man!" Dead End swerves between the exploding bombs, his speed and manuverability leaving only craters in his work, before he turns around and drives rapidly back toward Airflix. He lines up on a small incline thrusting up out of the ground before driving onto it and into the air, his shocking speed carrying him quickly toward the large bulk of Airfix. "Wreck-Gar! You finally show yourself!" exclaims Galvatron, shoving another Junkion out of the way as a path opens between the Decepticons' Lord of Destruction and the Junkions' Big Cheese. "Too many of your underlings being disabled for your tastes, eh? You'll soon find yourself JOINING THEM!" With his plasma sabre raised, Galvatron charges towards Wreck-Gar, and battle is joined! The doors to the fortress open once again, and out emerges... Soundwave! Yes, Soundwave... at the wheel of a Transformer-sized forklift! And the forklift is holding up a metal platform! And on that platform is... is... what the hell is it? It looks like a giant mess of machinery with an extremely large tuning fork on one end. Soundwave drives into the battlefield with the thing, paying no one else any mind. He even drives right by Scrapper and Breakdown without even looking at them. Leet says, "Wreck-Gar you are my favourite Wreck-Gar!" Engadget has, unfortunately, been pinned down beneath some fallen wreckage. Spotting Slash and another Junkion in the area, he calls out to his allies for help. "Slash! Dot! Save me!" Dot, busy stealing a piece of road, comes to his compatriot's aid, and all for the sake of a bad joke, Wreck-Gar says, "Ol' Buddy O'l pal, Leet. My baba-booey! It's good to hear from-argh! Right in the kisser! I'll show him what's for sale!" Slash swings his guitar right towards Breakdown, "I am going to live and help die." He is stepping infront of Engadget and Dot to protect them. "So am I baby let's roll on outta here. Raw power is sure to come runnin' to you." He is looking for a fight... Leet says, "You can get arrested for that!" Broadcasted by Slash, "Baby, I am here to kick ass." Wreck-Gar says, "Only if I pressure him .. and the pressure is on!" Grim-Repair says, "Under pressure! Doo doo doo doodoo doo doo." From out of the frey a pair of Junkions ride, ramping off a boulder through the air. A Junkion femme astride a Junkcycle, wielding a ridiculously large flaming sword and wearing a habit. Nuh-un makes a Xena like war cry cleaving her firey blade in a majestic arch. The Junkcycle comes down and makes a few warriors scatter and flee! As impressive as this is, the Decepticon base defences hone in on this display and the rain cometh. Nuh-un shreiks and bails, running from the Junkcycle shouting, "Look out!" The Junkcycle transforms into robot mode and looks to the running Nuh-un "For what?" He turn to look at the incomming base fire. His jaw drops. "Oh... dat." He gets obliterated on the battlefield, falling apart and smoking with scorch burns. Nuh-un crosses herself and says a prayer for O-Dat. Laid into by Galvatron, Wreck-Gar charges forth, a Junkion being tossed out of the way.. Wreck-Gar remembers so he may give that poor Junkion more than a fair share of Juice! But then, suddenly, Galvatron is on him like a pack of hungry mice on that big cheese, the plasma sabre raising and brought to bear! And how. It cleaves into Wreck-Gar, causing him to fall back a few steps.. "No can do angry walrus, there's a meeting at the OK corral and I'll be darned if I let another triple saver sunday go out without me cashing in my chips, Capish?... SAY HELLO!" He cries, an under handed swing, the blade of the axe ripping through the ground as he brings it up towards Galvatron's body, "To my slicing, dicing, and all around home freidnly LITTLE FRIEND!" Wreck-Gar strikes Galvatron with Junk Axe - Blend. As Nuh-un makes her fancy majestic moves, the uniquely-jointed Junkion Nuh-UH servos her head back and forth, then snaps three times in a carefully-programmed Z formation. "Nuh-UH!" Monstereo carefully and quickly collects the remains of the poor poor O-Dat and hauls them away for treatment. Elsewhere on the field, #-1 OBJECT NOT FOUND stares in disbelief at Nuh-un. "Oh no she didn't!" Nearby, No-She stands, caught in the act. "Well, actually...I did." Breakdown attempts to meet Slash's guitar with his own Axe as he swings wildly, almost foaming at the mouth..if he weren't a robot and all that Broadcast says, "This is Broadcast... I have recieved word that Wreck-Gar lives?" Leet says, "Well done Einstein!" Wreck-Gar says, "Alive and well. Full guarantee! I will never let go, Jack. Never let go." Broadcast says, "Please tell me you are not drinking the juice." Radio DJ Broadcast says, "...Wreck-Gar lives!" Leet says, "Broadcast is the only Junkion who doesn't want to help!" Soundwave feels relieved--and yet baffled--as he manages to use the forklift to lower the device down in the middle of the battlefield. Then, he bails from the forklift altogether, typing away commands into a panel on his arm. The strange superweapon prototype he had brought in suddenly whirs to life, LED lights coming on at various locations. Soundwave glances back for a moment, and finds to his dismay that he is being chased by two Junkion dogs that looks suspsiciously like Hanna Barbera characters. They even sound like them! "Rooby rooby rooo!" "Rrruff! Rastro! Rrrruff!" Grim-Repair says, "Traitor!" Some Junkions gather round Soundwave's superweapon. Banquo stares at it, stroking his chin. "It is a fork, I /guess/" he says. "Nothing I would use in any of my restaurants of course..." Wreck-Gar says, "You got the juice, you got the power! Snap into slim jim, the water's fine, come on in!" Galvatron is slashed along his left side by the spinning axe, scoring sparks off of his Unicron-forged armor, but it doesn't even slow him down as he drives his right fist straight out towards Wreck-Gar's bearded face. Galvatron strikes Wreck-Gar with Straight Punch. Ax-L shows up and has his guitar in hand, "Slash, I still hate you, but he needs to be replaced." Slash nods to his Junkion friend and tries to get the better part of the battle against Breakdown before Ax-L can get a better shot. "Take me down to Autobot City - where the energon is green and Galvatron is pretty... Oh won't you please me home?" mumbles Slash as he tries to kick his enemy. Rodimus Prime says, "Good evening, Ladies a Gentlejunks. This is Rodimus Prime -- telling you to take a bite out of crime and just say 'No' to the Juice! This is your brain -- this is your brain on Juice." Broadcasted by Ax-L and Slash, "I'm from south Philadelphia. I'm from Avenue C. I've seen the empty eyes of a vacant breed. I'm from the planet Junk too. I Don't Care About You! Melt you! I Don't Care About You! Melt you!" Broadcasted by Ax-L and Slash, "Rodimus... Live and let die. I'll help with that last part." Rodimus Prime says, "Hmm... Tough crowd." Leet says, "You totally Junknapped Lee-Zard!" Rodimus Prime says, "Uh... Peace sells, but who's buying? You, that's who!" Junkion Radio Broadcast says, "Rodimus Prime Hot Pants, I still listen. I am not touching the juice." And just then, Galvatron slams a fist, heavy towards the Junkion Leader. The fist connects, but the leader is only .. momentarily stunned. Yet with all of the members about, and Galvatron's assault.. they must have gotten enough. "Junkions! .. The products are packaged and ready to be shipped! Rewind your feet, and head back! This is not a retreat.. this is only the beginning.. for the Juice! If we aren't back before curfew, Granny may will have our hides!" Raising the Decelerator rifle towards Galvatron, and firing towards him, he at least aims to buy some time for the other Junkions to escape. A retreat!? No! ... Yes! Wreck-Gar misses Galvatron with its special attack. 1 OBJECT NOT FOUND is over there somewhere, doing something Junkionish. #-1 JUNKION POST EXPECTS (EXPLICIT POP CULTURE REFERENCE) BUT FOUND NONE. Rodimus Prime says, "Good to hear, Broadcast. Keep your nose clean. We're working on this Juice problem around the clock." Sky Lynx hrms? Wreck-Gar says, "Junk napped!?" Ropes fly down from the Junkion Garbage Pods as they finish eating up the metal of Charr's fortifications, and rise to the air, Junkions climbing up in a mass-exodus. Microslave sees some of his companions in trouble though, so fires off a blast of energy at Soundwave as he hangs on his rope. Knock-Off pries Plane-Guy off the face of Scrapper, and the Constructirobots run for the pods too Broadcast says, "So what is going on with you kids tonight...?" Leet says, "They totally stole Lee-Zard in an unthemely way sir!" Soundwave escapes the Hanna Barbera dogs by... flying. Yes, he jumps right up and so avoids their ravenous, yet loveable, maws. "Decepticons, the weapon is about to activate! Rise up from the ground or else--urgh!" He's cut off as yet another Junkion blasts him with a microwave beam, causing him to spark all over his body! Wreck-Gar says, "Why you no good, scoundrel, you're nothing but a hound dog, barking all the time! Do you not know every Junkion has a right for freedom, the pursuit of happiness, and as much Juice as they desire!? You're denying Lee-Zard from all of his rights, and good sir, I cannot stand without telling you of this great offer, to return him at one, or face the monkey consequences!" Leet says, "You are a terrorist Broadcast!" Broadcast says, "I am COBRA!!!" Scrapper had been getting kicked in the face by Plane-Guy (if he recalls the pose correctly), but the Constructicon employs a vicious tactic by... standing up. Plane-Guy can't reach anymore. "Hah!" Scrapper laughs. He is in a good mood given there are still knives in his back. The Constructicon watches as the Constructirobots run for the pods. "They have good taste in who to immitate, at least," he mutters, trying to gun them all down while they flee, like any heroic Decepticon does. Galvatron twists to the right, bending backwards to let the decelerator ray zizz by over his left shoulder. "You cannot hope to seriously contend with me, Wreck-Gar! My power is masterful, and you... are merely TRASH to be DISPOSED OF!" gloats Galvatron, his cannon arm igniting with a brilliant orange light before emitting a devastating counterattack at point-blank range! Galvatron strikes Wreck-Gar with Fusion Cannon (standard output). Wea-Pon utters in a deadpan voice, "I'll be back." before he shimmies his way up into the giant bong. Grim-Repair packs up shop in record time, and gets to a-shimmying up the nearest rope. Nearby, #-1 OBJECT NOT FOUND, No-She, Three-Sixty's head and Play-Station climb up their ropes towards the /JSS Recurring Jokes/, living to see another scene, another day. Rodimus Prime says, "We have Lee-Zard?" Raindance says, "Yes sir, shall I take him outside and break his legs?" Cliffjumper says, "Don't be a wise-ass, Raindance." Rodimus Prime says, "Are you even capable of doing that, even if I asked you to?" Cliffjumper says, "You don't have any hands." Rodimus Prime says, "Yeah, exactly." Raindance says, "Okay Cliffjumper, OUTSIDE NOW" Junkion Radio Broadcast says, "Raindance, I can assist." Rodimus Prime says, "Anyway, no. Don't break his legs." Whirligig says, "Guys, is it /really/ necessary to hurt him?" Pausing in their headlong rush towards Doctor Bong, Tra-Sh and Dis-Pose turn to look at each other, then back at Galvatron. "What does he mean by that?" Dis-Pose asks. Tra-Sh shrugs. Junkion Radio Broadcast says, "Drain his leg fluids." Rodimus Prime says, "Broadcast, is Wreck-Gar on the Juice?" Rodimus Prime says, "Or... just being Wreck-Gar?" Cliffjumper says, "Raindance, the last thing I need is livin' in fear'a wakin' up from recharge with Eject perched over my head lookin' for a little street justice." Cliffjumper says, "I know better than to mess with you tapes." Raindance says, "Yeah, you better" Junkion Radio Broadcast says, "On the juice, Sir. I am really considering leaving factions at this point. I cannot deal with them." Raindance says, "Eject leant me some of his brass knuckles" Junkion Radio Broadcast says, "Raindance, did the iPod make you useless?" Mosaic says, "Sir? Im still on Junkion. Do you require me anywhere. It sounds like its getting hot there" Junkion Radio Broadcast says, "Do you even have parts to use knuckles?" As the Junkions begin to retreat into the giant Bong, Wreck-Gar aims to fall back as well.. but Galvatron is able to twist away from the shot, the ray zizzing by.. and Galvatron's cannon arm igniting with a brilliant light. "No sir .. I don't like it!" He gets out, a snappy shot before Galvatron gets his OWN snappy, devastating counterattack. Which tosses Wreck-Gar, a pile of junk, towards the Bong.. the junk, however, vibrates a moment later, a Junkcycle riding out. "HIT THE ROAD! Lets get while the getting's good, better hurry, this deal's almost up!" He calls out, burning rubber! .. Not that Galvatron hasn't already done that. He leaves junk scattered behind him as he goes, as well, towards the pods! "You may have won the battle, Galvatron.." Wreck-Gar assures him. "But the coupons are still in our hands!" Leaning forwards, Wreck-Gar shifts into his junkcycle. RIDE ON! Rodimus Prime says, "Well, we'll take you in until this thing blows over, Broadcast." Whirligig says, "I'm sure we're going to have a solution soon. We techs are working very hard on this as we speak." Cliffjumper says, "I don't like this, Prime." Leet says, "On Junkion eh? KILL SQUAD GO" Cliffjumper says, "For all we know he's a secret Juicehead." Cliffjumper says, "/Infiltratin'/ us." Soundwave's superweapon beeps loudly, then the massive prong begins to vibrate to the point where it almost seems insubstantial, then after several moments of increasingly loud humming, the device is tilted up and aimed at the ground on hydraulics, where it discharges its prong right into the ground! The result is a small-scale, localized earthquake! Any Junkions that didn't run away in time are liable to get knocked over by the device. Cracks appear in the ground but they appear to stop short of the Decepticon fortress. Soundwave seemed to calculate the right spot to put the thing, at least. "You will rue this day, Wreck-Gar, and RUE it HARD!" Galvatron calls after the Junkions as they flee Charr. Junkion Radio Broadcast says, "...I fought Junkions and helped free the space duck... Or tried to..." Cliffjumper says, "Yeah." Cliffjumper says, "Spoken like someone tryin' a /little too hard/." Leet says, "Hey Mosaic, where about are you exactly so we can find you" Cliffjumper >:( at Broadcast so hard that it can be felt over the channel. Wreck-Gar says, "G I JOEEE, Real Junkion heroes, fighting for the juice!" Report Retaliatory Strike - Galvatron ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ spinny Galvatron looks angry, but then, he usually does. "The Junkions have made a fatal error in thinking they could scavenge from Decepticon Headquarters on Charr without being punished for it! Even as I speak, we are repairing the damage and mobilizing our forces! Tomorrow night we will fall upon the so-called 'planet' of Junk like turbohawks upon unsuspecting prey! Decepticons volunteering for this mission, report to your superior officers and see to your fuelling and repairs! Tomorrow we strike!" spinny ------------------------------------------------------------------------------